Many a novel has been written on the etiquette of throwing a wedding. But what about the rest of us who bear the responsibility of attending the big day? How do we decipher this unwritten code of behavior on a day so steeped in tradition? Fortunately the emphasis on diversity -- be it ethnic, cultural or otherwise -- in our age means the rules have relaxed considerably. However, there are certain traditions you’d do well to know, whether you decide to use them or not.

• Arrive with Style -- If you are invited to both the wedding and the reception, don't go only to the reception. Either attend both the ceremony and the reception or don't go to either. And whatever you do, don't plan to attend the wedding ceremony and be late. A fifteen-minute delay and you may find yourself caught in the door of the church as the guests are filing out -- a truly awkward scenario. Instead, budget in some extra time to get ready. If you arrive early you'll have more time to check out what everyone else is wearing and pick out people to flirt with later.

• Where the heck do I sit? When you arrive at a wedding ceremony, you should be greeted at the door by an usher, usually some acquaintance or relative of the bride or groom, and he will lead you to a seat. However, if you take a good look around and there is no usher, or if the wedding is too big for each group of guests to be separately ushered, make your way down a side aisle and find your own seat. The traditional seating arrangement places the guests of the bride on the right as you're facing the alter. Guests of the groom sit left. If for some reason the ceremony begins and you find yourself on the wrong side, by all means stay where you are. So long as you're discreet, such a little blunder will avoid detection.

• When do I stand? Once everyone is seated, music begins, signaling to the guests that the wedding party is about to come down the aisle. If you follow the dictates of etiquette you'll observe the mothers of the bride and groom and rise and turn to face the aisle when they do. If you never knew this before, you probably did it anyway just following your instincts. You stay standing until the person delivering the vows, whether it be a minister, a judge or the captain of a ship, tells you to be seated, not usually very long.

• Way to make an exit -- When the ceremony is over, guests will usually file out of the church starting with the front rows. A common signal that it’s your row’s “turn” is the usher removing the ribbon strewn across the seats.

• The Transportation Blues -- If the reception is held at a location apart from ceremony, make your own arrangements to get there, either by private car, taxi or tagging along with another guest.

• Better to give then to receive? When you arrive at the reception, or possibly while you are leaving the ceremony, you can plan for your first encounter to be with the receiving line. The line will likely consist of the bride and groom, their parents and possibly the members of the wedding party. Don’t eat anything at the reception until you’ve gone through the line. If the line is long, you may be offered an hors d’oevre or glass of champagne, in which case you should take it – but only to consume while you wait. There will probably be a table set up near the line where you can set it before you begin shaking hands.

• Making friends on line -- Go through the line with the person or group you came with, making introductions along the way as needed. Tell the bride how beautiful she looks, tell the parents how beautiful the ceremony was, but by all means be brief. The longer you stay in the receiving line, the longer you keep the people behind you from getting to the buffet table, so a long, eloquent greeting isn’t likely to make you any friends among guests.

• Signing the guest registry -- Only one member of a family that lives together need sign the registry. A simple "The Delacorte Family" and an address, if requested, will do. One member of a couple should sign, usually the one who was issued the invitation; the one who signs includes his or her own address.

• Getting away with the garter or bouquet -- Years ago the traditions of throwing the bridal bouquet and the garter were reserved for members of the wedding party. Today every single woman is invited to catch the bouquet and every single man the garter. While diving for a handful of flowers on a crowded dance floor is difficult to pull off with much grace, if you don’t do it for yourself, you should consider doing it for the bride. On the other hand, brawling with another man over who gets the garter isn’t likely to win the kind of attention you want either.

• The Dirty Don’ts: You may not want to hear this, but if you truly want to be a person that’s pleasant to be around at a wedding, don’t drink to much, smoke to much, or do drugs while you’re there. The first two make you stink, and the last two make you boring. No one likes a lot of face to face contact with someone who smells like a still or a chimney, or who can’t focus on the conversation. Keep yourself in control, and when you do say your final thank you to the parents of the bride and groom, you’ll whisk off in style without any regrets.